sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
