Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
