Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
