I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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