I heard we made out
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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