69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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