I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
