oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
