i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You ruined the universe
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
