so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
