Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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