It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize