yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just high enough for therapy.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
