i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Found the puke drawer
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
