how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize