my vag is so smooth its legendary
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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