she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
