we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Send help, water and tortillas.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
