The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
