We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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