So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
