North Korea, Best Korea!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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