Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
