The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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