Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
