I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
