So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
