Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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