I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
