They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I did not marry a roomba.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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