You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
