Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
