alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
