i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
