It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
