Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
sex in a hospital.. check
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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