omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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