so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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