jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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