I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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