I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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