I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
