Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
