Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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