I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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