Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize