i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
