we made out on top of his cat.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
