i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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