the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
