its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
