were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
