you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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