Sry I called you an 8
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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