Midget sex pt 2 tonight
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
