Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
