think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
