Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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