sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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