well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
