Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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