love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize