i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
