Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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